In memory of a legend, a great man

“The thing with Fats is that he may be gone but what he left behind is incredible. He left a presence that cannot be described or replaced; it's just the way he was – leaving a legacy”

It's been a year since the legendary, Papali’itele Peter Fatialofa, better known as Fats, passed away. He went home during a routine trip to a place he loved, a country he had dedicated most of his life serving.

But it was during a trip to Samoa by his wife, Anne, and children last week that revealed to them the extent of the love Samoa had for Fats and the inner strength of the man's legacy.

Anne and her children found the familiar surroundings of the aiga and Samoa a perfect foil to heal what had been a struggle for them to let go of a husband, father, grandfather and a loving man. In their eyes, Fats was simply amazing.

Anne said he had been the rock during their 30-year marriage. That’s why the past year has not been easy for her and her children.

“Our children really do struggle not having their father around and I do my best to see that they are okay although I do find it hard sometimes,” she says. “I’m used to not having him around as much because he travelled a lot but this time it’s different knowing that he ain’t gonna rock up to the house now and joke with our kids then load them up and go out for a feed of soup down the road. “What I would say no to, he’ll just get them all and go out and give them what they want.”

Last Thursday marked one year since he died, a death that robbed the world a man whose mana personified the results of hard and dedicated work.

Fats' life had a profound impact on his family, the rugby world, his business and his Samoa. He was larger than life.

Peter Fatialofa was gifted a matai title by the Head of State, the late Malietoa Tanumafili II after he led Manu Samoa during the Rugby World Cup in 1991. “It was the highest honour he received from his Samoa, especially from the Head of State,” said Anne. “His presence touched a lot of people, he was my husband for 32 years. He was the father of my kids.”

He had his health issues but it didn’t slow him down and would tell his wife about his appointment with the doctor was to prevent him from going to the ‘other side’.

That ‘other side’ caught up with him in Samoa a year ago. It also caught Anne on the hop as she was on the road that morning back in Auckland, carting their kids to school when her friend called to let her know that Fat’s had just passed away in Samoa.

“It was hard having to learn about it from my friend,” she said. “It was on ‘Breaking News’ that morning but I was out on the road. I had to make a u-turn and came back home with my daughter protesting that she’ll be late for school."

“There was no easy way for me to tell our kids about what happened to their father so I just came out and said it and tried to be strong for them – they really, really struggled with the realisation that their father had died.”

Two of their daughters moved to Brisbane to deal with the loss of their father while the oldest of the Fatialofa family, Jeremiah, moved back home from Brisbane.

“He moved to Brisbane a few years before with his young family,” said Anne. “Actually, I didn’t want him to move back because he’s got his own life and his young family. But he wanted to come back and help out with the business and had since been a great asset carrying on what his father did which allows me to keep an eye on it as well as keeping our children focussed on their future."

“I want our children to move on with their lives and am pretty sure it’s what he wanted for them too, move on and be happy."

“But Jeremiah felt that because when they were young his father would always tell him he’s the man of the family and should look after the family so I guess Jeremiah he had an obligation to fulfil that obligation. And he has thrived doing what he’s doing now with the business, his rugby and his young family.”

The only snag is that since Fats passed away, one of his employees resigned and started up his own business, similar to what Fats had done and in the process took away some of the clients.

“Although I am disappointed, all I can say is good luck to him. Fats had just passed away and the soil hadn’t even touched his face then this happened. After all, Fats helped him a lot and considered him part of our family. I just told my kids not to worry about it, one thing he doesn’t have is your father’s name on his business, it took me two days to get over it.”

Jeremiah and Courtney are now running the business and are doing alright. Again, that’s what Fats would have liked.

“We are so fortunate that so many of Fats' friends still come around or ring up to check on us. Brian Williams still rings up, he misses Fats a lot."

“Joe Stanley still comes around and see us and same with Dylan Mika. One of Fats' team mates from Samoa came around one time and asked for direction to the cemetery so he can go and pay his respects. “The thing with Fats is that he may be gone but what he left behind is incredible. He left a presence that cannot be described or replaced, it’s just the way he was – leaving a legacy."

“And I know that he wouldn’t want us to dwell on the past because that was not who he was. He’d want us to move on with our lives – and that is Fats. There are those who knew the real Fats, the man behind the rugby face – they are the ones that stepped up and had rallied around the family.” On Fats" last trip to Samoa, Anne said there was something unusual.

“Usually I’d drop him off to the airport but that day I was tied up elsewhere and he asked my mum to drop him off to the airport,” she said. “My mum never did that, it was always me. That week he went and saw his doctor and when I asked him about it he just said, oh it’s just to get some pills to stop me from going to the other side."

“Then he rang me from Samoa to pick him up on Thursday from the airport but then he passed away and I can’t get an early flight to Samoa so I just said, he’s coming back on Thursday like he said he would."

“If I was to catch a flight to Samoa we’d be crossing each other in the air, him to Auckland and I to Samoa, so I didn’t go.”

Anne Fatialofa knows she must be strong for her children and had taken on a task of making sure it’s business as usual with the family, making sure the children’s needs are catered for, something Fats would have done himself. “My friends have asked me if I’m ever gonna get married again, I said, what for? I was married for 32 years to Fats. I’m happy with my lot, I go out with my friends; I have our children and our grandchildren."

“I know he’d want me to move on with my life and I have. I’ve moved on knowing he’s looking down on me and our children."

“And if I want to, I can talk to him. I believe that God has given me the strength to deal with the loss and that is what Fats would like. And I’d tell the kids go to his grave and talk to him if they want. They’d give me funny looks thinking I’m mad saying that but really I know he’s here with us.” Anne said their recent trip to Samoa last week was a blessing for the children in a way that they opened up to the aiga surroundings and felt the love their father had for his Samoa.

“Not only that but also the love Samoa had for him,” she said. “One of our daughters who hadn’t been able to shake off the loss of Fats spoke for the first time of her struggle to comprehend the loss of her father."

“She really opened up and spoke from the heart about the pain she went through. And that was the healing process for the family.”

Fats’ unveiling service and the unveiling on his headstone attracted a lot of people from Samoa and Australia – something he’d probably say, “Too much.”

His last text message to his wife when he flew to Samoa for the last time reads, “I don’t know why I’m so shy to say goodbye to your eyes’. “I just laughed,” said Anne, knowing that that was the man she married and would always treasure.Papali’itele Peter Fatialofa hailed from the village of Lepa in Samoa. His mother was from the villages of Lefaga and Malie.

Rest in love, Fats!

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